Making Space

So. Her birthday has come and gone. I will say I was in a better mood on her birthday than I was the day before. The day before sucked real bad. Tears, boogers, the whole nine. To make things even worse…. I get in the car that night to go get the last few things…

Three Days Overdue!!

FLUCK THIS IS HARD! At this point, my baby was three days overdue. THREE DAYS OVERDUE. I was bigger than a house and my body was hurting. My hips were hurting so bad thanks to SPD. I was ready. I needed her to come out. I was pretty sure she was actually never coming out….

Tears For The Orchid

Well friends, it finally happened. In the first time in ever, I called my husband crying over something that to a normal person, would be so trivial. Remington broke my Orchid that I have been trying so hard to save. It even has a new leaf growing. Why did I have a breakdown about a…

Over-Thinking

Oh here I am! I’m back. Again. As I said I was wallowing in a bit of self-pity. I didn’t mean to, it just kind of crept up and stayed for a little while. I hate when it does that. I get very easily irritated and I have very little patience. Which sucks because my…

Return To Sender

To Whom This May Concern : Why was it us that has to suffer? Why was our family picked for this? Ask and you shall receive. We didn’t ask for this. I would have given the air from my lungs to fill hers. One last breath to make sure she got to stay. No questions asked. Why is…

ѕnαpѕнoтѕ

I’m back. I feel like it’s been a little while. I more or less haven’t written anything because in all honesty, I’ve been having a real hard time these past couple weeks. I don’t generally like to show weakness of any sort. I don’t like to let people know when I’m anything other than ok….

Scattered Thoughts

Putting the kids to bed lately has been pure torture. They watch a movie at bedtime and lately the pick has been Mr.Peabody and Sherman. All well and good except for me it’s anything but. That movie was playing I believe either the first or second night we had her home. We went up to…

Knowledge Is Power

I was asked my take on co-sleeping. I lean more towards the controversial side of things. I have also done countless hours of reading and Google searches about this. Just more or less to see what I could find. I have always slept with my babies. I always felt more comfortable that way. I felt…

Honesty Is Always Better Than An Unintentional Upset

So in this post I may sound sort of like an asshole. I’m not entirely sure. Maybe even a little insensitive. Remember though I tend to look at things a lot differently than the average person it seems. This past year I have been introduced to what is known as life’s number one stressor and…

An Unexpected Healer.

SO. This Friday we took a family trip to Target to get a few things. While there I did what I always do and that is spot all the babies. I don’t do it intentionally it just happens that way. Vinnie does it also. He saw one baby and I saw another. Both babies were…

Fight Or Flight..?

 I was asked if I had another baby would the anxiety consume me… It’s funny this was asked because I said before I would go back and forth on wanting a baby and not wanting a baby. I think I would be ok and then that dark cloud would come out. I’m out of that…

Aching Arms

These past few days I’ve just been dying on the inside. It lets up and something happens and that feeling comes right back. We saw the CUTEST little baby girl tonight. She was just beautiful. Of course I asked to hold her because…it’s a baby and I’m me. Well little Vinnie runs up to me and…